When Daughter was tiny, maybe three, she was madly in love with everything girly. The more lace, glitz and bling the better. She had an entire toy box filled with feather boas of every color, princess dresses and plastic high heels.
Her beloved Barbie dolls lived in the same toy box with their extensive wardrobes. Most were missing at least one body part, since that?s what happens when you beg your older brothers to play Barbie with you.
It was around that time I decided if you can?t beat ?em, join ?em, and I started to collect non-traditional Career Barbies.
There was a period in the 90?s when Mattel attempted to expand its market by introducing several lines of unusual Barbies. There were international Barbies from around the globe. There were Barbies from history and literature, like Cleopatra Barbie and Heidi Barbie. And then there were my favorites ? the Career Barbies.
One by one they lined up on her shelves. Pilot Barbie (long before I ever met a woman commercial pilot), Veterinarian Barbie, Dentist Barbie and Pediatrician Barbie (my fave), Photojournalist Barbie, Professor Barbie, Paleontologist Barbie, Barbie for President, and Firefighter Barbie. I may be forgetting a few, but you get the gist. My pre-schooler needed to know that even Barbie, that iconic man-pleaser, could be anything she wanted to be.
Never mind ?her feet, which were pre-formed to slide into spike heels only, that chick could climb mountains, fly jumbo jets and save lives.
Somehow, at the time, it felt important to neutralize the overt Barbie message with a woman power counter-narrative.
The problem was that Daughter had little or no interest in my Career Barbies. She never even wanted to take them out of the box, which was fine with me since I figured that once out of their perfect, strangled career poses they?d lose heads and arms too, and become just like all the other big-busted, tiny-waisted fashionistas in the toy box.
So there they sat on the shelf; a perfectly frozen gallery of fantasy women?s lives. See, my darling girl? You CAN have it all. Wear your evening gown and strappy pumps to the prom tonight, and join the paratroopers tomorrow.
Who was I kidding?
Fast forward 15 years and I find myself in a different room ? one?full of toys destined to be distributed to children in hospitals and foster homes. My colleagues and I?are sorting through mountains of playthings, deciding what might go to whom ? what?s appropriate, and what?s not (you wouldn?t believe some of the things donated to toy drives).
I am floored. Out of a total 22 Barbies (by far the most represented of any single item), we will discard 11 because they?re too sexually explicit. California Barbie is sporting a bikini so tiny the top barely covers her nonexistent nipples ? the bottom is a thong wedged into the plastic crack between thigh and pelvis. Disco Barbie wears a hot pink and silver halter dress so short she couldn?t sit down without displaying her Brazilian wax, and heels we used to call ?f**k me shoes?.
Not a Career Barbie in sight ? unless you consider hooking a career.
My younger colleagues, all smart women with big professional plans, aren?t too surprised. Once I point out the trend they?re suitably appalled, but it wouldn?t be a big deal otherwise. Their world is so saturated with this sexualized stuff they?ve been desensitized to it.
Woman power has taken on new meaning, at least in the media and mass market. From Jersey Shore?s Snooki to the endless parade of teen idol pop stars, and even our mega-movie stars, our center of power has been hijacked and relocated from our brains to those body parts most likely to benefit from cosmetic surgery and beyond.
When did women?s equality become about using our sexual power over men to its best advantage, instead of using our brain power to participate in all arenas as full partners? The truth is it didn?t, but you sure wouldn?t know it if you?ve been steeped in pop culture.
Sexual power is being confused with actual power, so that embracing cheap sex becomes a 21st century version of feminism. But take my word for it, lustful does not equal liberated.
Take a look at the Forbes Magazine 10 Most Powerful Women of 2012:
1) Angela Merkel (Chancellor, Germany)
2) Hillary Clinton (US Secretary of State)
3) Dilma Rousseff (President, Brazil)
4) Melinda Gates (Co-Chair, Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation)
5) Jill Abramson (Executive Editor, NY Times Company)
6) Sonia Ghandi (President, Indian National Congress)
7) Michelle Obama (First Lady, United States)
8) Christine Lagarde (Managing Director, International Monetary Fund)
9) Janet Napolitano (Secretary, US Department of Homeland Security)
10) Sheryl Sandberg (COO, Facebook)
All 10 got where they are by using brainpower, not sexual allure. Even the performers and celebrities later in the list (Oprah Winfrey and Lady Gaga) are brilliant business women who crafted their brand carefully to propel them to the head of the class. They have much more in common with Career Barbie than Disco Barbie.
But try asking your ?tween or teen chica to name 10 women who they think are important and powerful and I?ll bet you get a very different list. Come to think of it, that?s a great conversation starter for us and our daughters. AND for us and our sons.
Remember: the most important influence on our kids? opinions and values isn?t their peers OR pop culture, it?s us. When we open up the conversation and talk about this stuff, they listen (just don?t ask them to admit it).
So tonight at dinner, ask your son or daughter to name a woman they admire, or one they?d like to be like, and take it from there. Try not to prompt or judge (?well how about fill-in-the-blank? Isn?t SHE the one??). Just get the information and start asking why.
Meanwhile, my Career Barbies are packed up in a big plastic bin on a shelf in the garage. They?re still frozen in those perfect poses, original packaging intact. I just know my someday granddaughter is going to love them.
Source: http://mamasoncall.com/2012/10/hooker-barbie/
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